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hmm..the earlier post was just some..dun really know what to called it, morale booster for the new year? but at least it took up some time, kept the monster called boredom away.
been raining/drizzling nonstop these few days. ok..it read 25 deg and 90% humidity on my..er..wads that instrument called?..no idea..hygrometer/hydrometer/wadever. but if only this kind of weather could last. Isn't the world unfair..sometimes we cry foul over the slightest dichotomy. saw this somewhere: the trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt..sure applies..
humph...dunno how i ended there , but december's weather is sure nice..
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.:kindling a fiery thought at 10:33 PM:.
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2004.
What can I say of the epoch (if anyone would consider it a malapropism) 61 days ago, a saturated bottom line of dread, trepidation, or so whatever, if emotional content can be so aptly vocalised. I guess it’s a miracle in the making, for two eras of differing compositions to emerge within the span of half a month. The environment imbued fear of not scoring within the criterion of promotion, the almost-sure trek over crushed dreams and aspirations, has not, but fortunately, been realised.
Similarly astounding would be the juxtaposition of my three years in secondary school. I’ve always thought of phrases to the effect of that the real lessons do not happen within the classroom as cliché, condescendingly denouncing claims of this sort. But as the old lie dictates that seeing is believing, I have now been brought to believe that what one perceives outside the classroom is commensurate with the value of the academics. In 2004, I spent close to a full percent of my holidays on matters not related to the academic realm, and though I paid dearly for this (I hope it does not bring to mind results, because it sure is not) by disregarding mental capability, I do not even harbour a tinge of regret.
For reasons I do not really comprehend, I have this sense of achievement each time I think of June. Looking back at June holidays, I remember council retreat on week 1, NCC camp on week 2, RGS symposium on week two also, xSLC on week 3 and then Spec Course on week 4. Mind you, it took up whole weeks. Then came humanities night, where we would go back to school at 7pm after SYF rehearsal and rehearse till 11. If memory does not fail me, I think it is here that project day finals where held. We, as a group, got a distinction. Last, would be Carnival, and it would be great thanks to the AOS and the very efficient organising team that it materialised. To even recall that I thought of ditching the event (imagine any OS doing that), makes me blush. Literally.
Anyway, it consoles me to recall that my end-of-year msg was far better than what I expected, what I would pray/dream of. Okay, so 3i is headed for clock tower next year. I guess it would be apt to start again on this struggle, probably for the last year, with a place in HCJC as an incentive? Probably. I wish not to talk about maimed aspirations anymore…
I want to be a lawyer. Big-time lawyer. Attorney, judge, counsel, no joking. I guess its one dream I painted some time ago, one that I’m serious about. Maybe it’s too early to decide, but someday, I’ll materialise the most colourful dream I paint.
But on a lighter note, I guess it’s the nice people I get to know, the results which dazzle me and every other thing which makes the struggle worth, and makes this life worth living. I don’t want to die yet; my life’s still much unfulfilled. Lots of things I want to tell people but I can’t bear or don’t dare to; lots of stuff I would very much like to do but for some reason or other, I can’t. But it’s okay, I know someday, everything I wanted to do, everything I wanted to say, will be done. Just waiting
Atta boy, and Merry Christmas folks!!
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.:kindling a fiery thought at 6:11 PM:.
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